Yes, I'm back and "whatever happened to Karen?" seemed like the most fitting title!
It's also a good question. One I am still pondering on myself!
Just before the Christmas break I shared in Successfully Raw eZine that I’d be dealing with “all issues identity”. This was because of a decision I made in November and a photo shoot, actually, which was now bringing up “stuff” that needed to change in order for me to move forward with my big decision. Apologies if this sounds cryptic, but it’s still too early to share what that specific thing was all about (although it’s very exciting and all good). In a few months I’ll speak more about it.
What I will say is that the photo above gives you some clue as to where I'm at right now. I went from favouring the new red one with bold lippy to "returning" to the girl next door look pictured here. As funny as it may sound, my inner journey really did play out in my choice of picture, and the best way to sum the whole inner-trip up is as "a return to love". I will write more about this in my next post.
Perhaps there have been times in your own life where you made a radical decision and then asked yourself: “Am I really up to this? Is this bigger than what I’m capable of?” I’m sure that most of us have. So what happens when deep down inside you believe you can but you have so much to change to make that decision turn into a reality?
This is what I’ve been “contending” with for the past 6 weeks or so. I say contendingbecause at times it has felt like a battle of sorts. There have been all sorts of parts of me coming up with their two penneth worth with an opinion about my decision and while I haven’t ever wanted to change my mind, I have certainly not enjoyed that side of the journey!
Now, a few weeks on I feel as if the biggest stretch is over. The internal shifts we need to make are usually the biggest and certainly this has been the case with me. Although I already think bigger than most people, I have been challenged, both by myself and my commitment, to go much bigger much FASTER than I had bargained on – and like trying to run a marathon after you’ve been used to jogging a bit here and there, it REALLY HURTS!
Still, I am back, I needed some space to do what I needed to do without interrupting the process and this is why I've been quiet. I needed the time to do my stretch, feel the pain, and keep stretching anyway. Now I am into the next stage which is integration.
How does this affect you?
- Hopefully something I’ve shared already might help you in some way, either right now or in the future
- The results of what I’ve been going through (and still am) are essentially all about YOU! Quite simply I have made the commitment to make this year the most wonderful year ever for those who read my work, subscribe to my eZine or work with me within a program in terms of raw food support and you’re going to love what happens next.
So where am I at right now?
Still aching a little! Still adjusting to the new way of thinking and doing, but most importantly committed. I take 100% responsibility for the choice I made and will do everything I can to honour it, while asking for help, being deeply grateful for everything and everyone in my life and staying present, and staying calm, focused and committed. Even though this might all sound a bit "intense", I really did need something this big and juicy as I felt I had hit a ceiling with my growth before. From around August onwards, when I moved into my new home, almost every day I felt as if I was constantly outgrowing myself and that was also a bit painful, though mostly plain frustrating. I really needed something big to scare me a little and stretch me because I was not getting what I needed from myself or the coaches in my life.
Just as I felt “good” albeit a little wobbly before I started exercising, after a few weeks of integration (working out with a trainer) and seeing the fruits of my labours, although I ached and groaned at times and wondered if it was all worth it (especially when sometimes my body looked more wobbly a week or so before it got really toned up), I made the decision because I knew I was ready, had nowhere else to go but UP and now of course, 9 months in to regular training, I couldn't think of ever going back. And just as my body is shaped very differently to how it looked those 9 months ago, a few months from now you will see a different Karen Knowler showing up in many ways and on many levels, and a different focus appearing to help YOU get the most out of your raw food journey.
Thank you for asking about me! I have missed you all and am very glad to be back. Unless something really big pops up that I really have to share then I'll be posting on here at the end of every month as a Living Magically check-in and other manifesting info as and when I have something juicy to share! (The rest of the time you can find me on Living in the Raw blog and in Karen's World within the Successfully Raw eZine)
Have a fabulous January, don't forget to pick up your FREE New Year's eBook on Living in the Raw and I would love to hear your news too!
whatever happened to karen? we miss you.
Posted by: Eric | March 02, 2009 at 10:54 PM