Yesterday, during the Brian Clement lecture in London, I was given a book - Wild Love by Gill Edwards; a book that has only been available since 22nd June, had been mentioned to me only a week previously by Tracey, a RFFB course attendee, and a book which as soon as I heard about it, I thought "I've just got to get it".
But as per my last post, the past week has been busy beyond belief, and combine this with about 10 books waiting to be read, well, you could say it wasn't top of my priority list!
But the Universe delivered it to me with no effort at all, as a gift unexpectedly, because it's exactly what I needed, exactly at this time in my life. (Thank you Anna!)
Gill Edwards has been one of my favourite authors ever since she wrote her first book Living Magically, then later, Stepping into the Magic back in the 1990's. These books literally changed my life. Then, in 1996 or thereabouts I went to hear her speak live at Alternatives in St James's Church, London and my life was to be changed again.
There, in the pews of St James's, something so real and so amazing happened that it well and truly made me realise that we are far more incredible and multi-dimensional than we even want to believe.
This is what happened...
During the evening at Alternatives and after her initial talk, Gill took us on a guided meditation. The meditation in itself was a beautiful experience, and more than worth going for, but what happened that night has been indelibly printed on my mind and my life ever since and was absolutely priceless.
As the meditation progressed and I felt completely connected and in tune with the process, suddenly, out of nowhere I began to feel a steady rocking sensation between my brows (where the "third eye" is said to be located) - it felt a bit like a pendulum swinging heavily and steadily from side to side. Then, before I knew it I felt that steady rocking motion turn into a full blown spinning, which I can only best liken to one of those toy windmills that catches the wind and then just whirs around and around.
As the spinning continued, completely out of my control, I found tears pouring from my eyes as if some kind of awakening had occurred, something so special and miraculous and deep that life would never be the same again. And I left St James' that night knowing, just knowing that there is so much more to life (and our bodies) than we have even the first clue about.
Since then obviously my life has changed enormously. The third eye is said to be where psychic abilities are housed, and yes, I definitely have become more psychic. Part of this I attribute to that awakening and another part of it I definitely attribute to eating a clean diet and trying to stay clear on all other levels also.
So yesterday, the day I was gifted with Wild Love, was a really big day - a magical one really. We had over 100 people at Cavendish Conference Centre to hear Brian speak and everything just flowed beautifully. Brian as usual was full of timeless wisdom, which is one of the main reasons why he is one of my favourite speakers - he's a world-class presenter and living food expert, but what I love him for especially is that he always focuses predominantly on what the bigger picture is with all of this.
During the morning session, Claire and I (sitting on the front desk) spent some time listening to the lecture via the screen outside the auditorium taking lots of inspiring notes. To begin with, Brian focused a lot on the discomfort that choosing raw (or "life") brings and why, even though it seems safe and comfy, we shouldn't aspire to stay in the comfort zone where the majority live as it's just not the best place to be. (Bear with me, the Gill Edwards and Brian Clement stories end up intertwining beautifully!).
One of the quotes I took from this part of the seminar was "it's uncomfortable to have life when everything around us is so lifeless" (yep!) and he also very honestly stated that he was scared when he first embraced raw and living foods, as is everyone else (yep!) because it's so different from the norm and out of the comfort zone. (And if you've met Brian you'll most likely agree that it's hard to imagine him being scared of anything, so this was a great thing to hear).
Furthermore, he went on to talk about someone who had heard him speak the previous evening and had said "I love what you have to say, and I really want to do it - but can I do it half way?", to which Brian replied, "If someone offered you a million pounds or half a million pounds, which would you choose?" ... exactly!
So what I most got from what I heard of Brian yesterday was the "saying YES!" in spite of the fear, and in spite of what others might think or say. This obviously is something that most raw fooders struggle with, unless they are naturally non-conformists, which alas, I've never been!
I also wrote down "connect, rather than control" which really resonated with me and now I have no idea what that was all about, or what context it was set in, but I like it anyway!
Which takes me back to Gill and her new book.
Wild Love is a book about living your truth, living honestly, bravely, without labels, limitations and confines. No doubt it will be seen as controversial by many, but for me it was a breath of fresh air and a much needed wake up call, or reminder at the very least.
The one thing I have personally committed to, to myself and for myself, is to "live in the raw" for the rest of my life, literally and figuratively, and so this book and Brian's seminar further fuelled me to do just this.
Wild Love's focus is on being true to self, but what especially pulled me in (yes, in spite of having all those books waiting to be read I just went right ahead and started reading on the journey home last night!) is that Gill's book tells the tale of her own Wild Love story - where, after years of being married to a good friend turned partner, having a child and thinking she was happy, she realised that there was another man whom she felt wildly and uncontrollably attracted to, "Matthew", who was already married and with a young child, and her life was thrown in to complete turmoil.
What I love about Gill and always have done is her willingness to be honest, authentic and real. And in this book she explores what Wild Love is really all about - loving without limits and loving what's real. In her own true story she ended up leaving her husband; and Matthew, having acknowledged Gill's feelings and journey and having had what appears to be countless conversations about it, chose to stay in his marriage and end all communication with Gill - to the point of not even acknowledging he knew her in public.
But through all the pain and heartache Gill remains eternally grateful to Matthew and for the experience, as it pulled her out of her stale and unfulfilling marriage and took her back to her essence, to "Source" and into authenticity once again. In short it brought her fully awake and has evolved her work in metaphysics and spiritual development deeper and further than she ever thought possible.
At time of writing the book Gill was single and going through her divorce. She has a son now about 10 years old and she and her ex remain friends.
Gill's key message in the book is that we are now moving into a new era and a new way of being in our relationships - both with others and ourselves. It is time to drop the rule book and the "shoulds". It's time to connect with, (not control) others - but only if they take us closer to Source. It's time to take full responsibility for everything in our world and time to be 100% true to our deepest most honest selves even if others (or even ourselves) are quick to judge or label it negatively - which is truly raw behaviour, right?!
And because she is centring her teachings primarily around intimate relationships it's particularly pertinent to me as this is the one area of my life I have always struggled with. Over the years I have ended many relationships that were apparently "good" or "good enough", according to those who chose to give their opinion! And naturally, for this I have been told "You're too picky, you'll never find what you're looking for. Why can't you just be happy with what you've got?"
Quite simply, just as with choosing to eat raw and open myself up to all sorts of opinions and judgements, in relationships I have also had to go deeper - beyond people's expectations or ideas about what's right for me, and instead to feel what's really there rather than looking at the boxes that have or haven't been ticked, and making assessments from the head rather than the heart. Reading Gill's book has given me the courage of my convictions back again - to stay true to me no matter how it looks from the outside.
There is way more to Gill's book than this, though. But this is the message I most needed to hear. As alluded to in a few posts back I am going through a massive reconfiguration of my own life at the moment on all sorts of levels, and yes there are times when it is a little scary, although fortunately I have become amazingly brave over the past decade or so and living outside the box no longer feels dangerous or risky to me, but enthralling and authentic instead.
As my own work evolves in raw foods I find myself increasingly unable to focus purely on the mechanics of food and eating - there is so much more to going raw than the nutrients and ingredients, and this is what everything, but everything is reminding me about right now.
And the reason why I feel so relaxed and confident with my raw choices (food-wise) is because while I see and experience its many and multifaceted benefits, I don't rely on it to be my world. I see it as a tool to help me stay clear and aligned, but it doesn't take care of everything. As Gill's book so clearly demonstrates and as Brian's presentation so clearly articulated, this journey through life is precious and ours alone. It's up to us to be brave and be wild and free, even if it goes against everything we have believed about life and how it should look and what is "good" and "right". But equally endearing, especially made clear in Gill's book and it's what I teach too, is that ultimately the decision to live authentically (or to choose raw) is but one choice. It doesn't mean it's the "better" choice or that any other choice is "wrong". We are all free to choose what we want at different times for different reasons, but it's doing it consciously that matters.
All that said, for me not to live in the raw now feels distinctly "wrong" because when you've worked hard to live so close to Source and love and being real, it feels like way too much of a good thing to relinquish, even if it does get painful at times!
My favourite quote so far from the book:
"It is easier to remain a prisoner of the past than to become a pioneer of the future; it takes less energy, less consciousness. However, it blocks the flow of love and cripples our human potential."
If you gave yourself permission to live and love wildly from the depths of your heart and soul, and no-one could or would be hurt as a result of it, what would you do today? Beyond today and into tomorrow, what would you do differently in your life as it currently stands? What would you do differently if your one and only r'aison d'etre was to be loving, connected, joyful, wild and free?
Having just checked the link to Alternatives is working, it turns out that Mike Dooley of "Notes from The Universe" fame is speaking live there tomorrow night, and lo and behold Gill is there again for the first time in years on 24th July - 2 weeks tomorrow! So if the above resonates with you, then check out Gill's talk here.
Who knows, I might see you there!
From Gill's book:
"What does it really mean to love ourselves, others and the world? How does 'love' so often get blocked, twisted and distorted - and leave us feeling trapped, limited or diminished? What does our energy system reveal about the true nature of Love? And why are our emotions so crucial to making our lives and relationships work? Wild Love suggests that - paradoxically - we can only truly love when we give up trying to be ‘good’, conforming or pleasing others, but instead choose to be happy and follow our bliss. Then we move beyond the conditional ‘tame love’ which our culture promotes - which leads to controlling (taming) others, or sacrificing ourselves and our dreams (being tamed). Instead we discover the wild love which can awaken and inspire us, set us free and release our hidden potential. Then we become apprentice gods and goddesses - and our lives are transformed."